Every Season, Every Step

Welcome to April! Winter is over - spring is here. Tomorrow is April 1st...the beginning of my month-long birthday celebration of turning 60. The month that I walk a marathon. The month where I reflect back on the past 60 years as well as look to the future. The month that I celebrate the faithfulness of God throughout each season of my life.

Today I'd like to explain to you WHY I am walking a marathon this month. And why I'm walking...not running.

Three years ago I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis.

I woke up on a Friday morning in June, 2016 and my hands (especially my right hand) were super stiff and sore. Over the course of the day, my hand grew increasingly hot and swollen. It started to cramp into a closed position, not able to open it at all...making it impossible to perform simple tasks such as holding a pen, typing, even buttoning or unbuttoning my shirt and pants. By the end of the day my hands looked like this:

These look like the hands of an 80 year old.

That Friday was my first time experiencing the excruciating pain of RA. The hot, burning, relentless savageness of the disease kept me awake almost the entire weekend. It felt like millions of tiny demons gnawing away at my nerve endings, and there was absolutely no relief. I had no idea what was wrong.

 

Monday morning I went to the doctor who took one look at me and knew what it was. After doing blood work, he confirmed the diagnosis. Rheumatoid arthritis. What in the world?! I was devastated. Soon afterward I saw a specialist who explained that this disease would grow increasingly worse over time, that the flares would become more frequent and severe, and that there wasn't a cure...only slowing the progression of the disease with medication. And that I would need to take the medicine for the rest of my life. It was a lot to take in, and it felt worse than a death sentence to me. For those of you who know me, I don't even like taking Tylenol, and I'm being told that I need to take medicine for the rest of my life? And it wouldn't even cure it? No, thank you.

Disclaimer: I am not saying that I am refusing to take any sort of medicine for RA the entirety of my life. I'm just saying that for me, back then (as well as now), I wanted to explore natural solutions such as diet and exercise to treat the symptoms for as long as possible.

 

Side note:  I've always said that things (both happy and sad) affect me very deeply...to my bones - my very core. This diagnosis seemed oddly symbolic of how I have carried the weight and pressures of life. (My body is attacking itself?) This is why I kept quiet about it for so long. Somehow I felt like it was my fault (I know it's not), and I didn't want outside voices feeling sorry for me or telling me what to do or how to "fix" it. It was a private battle that only very few knew about.

 

After the initial diagnosis 3 years ago, I experienced many, many flares. It has been hard to just live and enjoy life because I haven't known what would cause a flare or when it would happen. I truly dreaded waking up in the morning not knowing what the day would bring.

 

What if I have a flare at Jason's wedding?

Or at Heidi's wedding?

What if I can't cook the Thanksgiving meal?

What if a flare ruins a trip to see my kids and grandbabies?

What if I can't hold the newborn?

What if I can't stir the spaghetti sauce?

Or pick up a pan?

Or my purse?

Or unlock my car?

Or use the nozzle of my hair spray?

Or open my mascara?

Or hold my toothbrush?

Or zip my pants?

 

And the list goes on and on. Simple tasks that we take for granted. My daily struggle is real...but the flares can be horrendous. 

 

The flare of a lifetime. I woke up on Monday morning the last week of March, 2018 with an excruciating flare in BOTH of my hands that lasted for an entire week. I could hardly do anything! Somehow I managed to go to work, but I couldn't think, function, sleep...nothing! (And somehow I managed to hide this from my coworkers.) I didn't know what to do. I was begging God to heal me and to give me some sort of direction.

 

And that's when everything changed for me! The agony of that flare a year ago was so intense that I never wanted to experience it again. Mid-April of last year, just after my birthday, I began a quiet experiment. And again, I told no one. I wondered what would happen if I made 4 major changes in my life...if it would help the RA? I had nothing to lose. So here's what I did:

 

I cut out almost all sugar from my diet.

But I still enjoy desserts and goodies on occasion.

 

I cut out most carbs. Not all, but a lot.

I need carbs as I walk long distances.

 

I started using essential oils on my hands, feet, shoulders and knees.

Coconut oil, peppermint, lavender, and frankincense have become my best friends and daily companions.

 

And then I started walking. And walking. And walking.

 

My body responded immediately! I didn't miss the carbs and sugar.

I am not making any medical claims to the effectiveness of essential oils to cure RA, but I am saying that they brought much relief and comfort to MY hands that had been in so much pain. It worked for ME. 

I craved the warmth and sunshine that seemed to help heal and soothe my body. In the hot summer months I felt like toxins were leaving my body through sweat. I just felt so much better.

I spent most of my time talking to God during my daily walks. I prayed for everyone and everything that was on my heart, and I spent much time asking God to heal me. I also spent a good deal of time reflecting on my life and how good and faithful He had been to me and my family over the years. I also thought a lot about what the future was going to look like for me. One Sunday afternoon last May as I was walking, I had a brilliant thought.

 

"Next year, for my 60th birthday, I'm going to walk a marathon!"

 

And so, that's how we got here. Life is a marathon. This is all symbolic.

 

A marathon is HARD. It actually seems impossible, but we do it. Even through the pain.

Just like life. Life is HARD at times, but we succeed with God's help.

 

We need support before, during and after a marathon.

Just like life. During each step and stage of life, we need encouragement from our family and friends.

 

We inspire others when we dare to do the "impossible."

Everyone has an "impossible" dream. Even a 60 year old grandma with RA and vertigo attempting to walk a marathon.

 

And most importantly, we don't RUN through life. WE WALK.

And God is orchestrating every detail of our life...one step at a time.



Through every season, from our first steps to our final steps, He is faithful. The song below expresses it perfectly. "God of all My Days" has become my theme song this year! I sing it to myself on every walk. God is with us in every season and stage of life.

God of All My Days by Casting Crowns

I came to You with my heart in pieces
And found the God with healing in His hands
I turned to You, put everything behind me
And found the God who makes all things new

I looked to You, drowning in my questions
And found the God who holds all wisdom
And I trusted You and stepped out on the ocean
You caught my hand among the waves
'Cause You're the God of all my days

 

Each step I take
You make a way
And I will give You all my praise
My seasons change, You stay the same
You're the God of all my days

 

I ran from You, I wandered in the shadows
And found a God who relentlessly pursues
I hid from You, haunted by my failure
And found the God whose grace still covers me
I fell on You when I was at my weakest
And found the God, the lifter of my head
And I've worshipped You

And felt You right beside me

You're the reason that I sing

'Cause You're the God of all my days

 

In my worry, God You are my stillness
In my searching, God You are my answers
In my blindness, God You are my vision
In my bondage, God You are my freedom
In my weakness, God You are my power
You're the reason that I sing
'Cause You're the God of all my days 

Each step I take
You make a way
And I will give You all my praise
My seasons change, You stay the same
You're the God of all my days

And so, dear friends, hopefully this explains why I have decided to walk a marathon in celebration of my 60th birthday as I'm entering a new decade of my life.

To update you on how I'm doing physically, God's grace is certainly helping me! I have definitely lost grip strength in my hands, but I'm working on that through mild weight training. The flares have reduced significantly! In fact, I did not experience any RA flares from April - November of last year! It was definitely a hard winter though. With the cold, damp weather and not being able to get out in the sun much, I have experienced some flares, but certainly not with the intensity that they were last year. Most mornings and evenings, my hands are quite sore. I need warm, dry weather to really feel well. At times I experience hard nodules on the outside bottoms of my feet that make me feel like I'm walking on rocks. I tried throwing in a little jogging to shorten the time when I'm out walking long distances, but it was just too painful. Too much pressure on feet, knees and ankles. Which again makes this whole "walking a marathon" idea seem so impossible. How I'm able to walk 13, 16, 17+ miles without being sore the next day is nothing less than miraculous! To God be all the glory! I'm going to continue to walk and fight this disease for as long as I am able.

My actual birthday is on April 16 but I plan to walk the marathon on Saturday, April 13, 2019. When the celebrations are over, I plan to write all about the past year and everything I've learned. Because we're all walking, and the goal is to make it HOME. Until then, thank you for your love, support and prayers. If you would like to celebrate with me on April 13, details of the event are on Facebook. I'd love to see your faces! This is the beginning of a year-long celebration of life and healing.

With a heart full of love and gratitude,

Teresa/MamaT/GrandMama-T

 

May The Lord bless you and protect you.
May The Lord smile on you and be gracious to you.
May The Lord show you His favor and give you His peace.


God uses every season and every step in life to create beautiful pearls.

 

Say Yes

Everyone loves a love story. And while each individual story is unique and special, there is one thing in common - it all starts with a question. Today, just a few days after Valentine's Day, I'd like to share with you the journey of my daughter, Heidi, and her fiancé, Tim, and their love story. And yes, it all started with a question.

September 30, 2012:
Tim: "Meet me for frozen yogurt?"  Heidi:  "Yes."

Columbia, MO - Yogoluv

Boy meets girl. Tim was a sophomore engineering major at Mizzou in Columbia, MO - Heidi a freshman drama major at Stephen's College, also in Columbia. They met on Saturday night, September 29, 2012. He was 20, she was 19 - and yes, they were total opposites. It was magical, unquestionable love at first sight. Wonderful and exciting for them - understandably scary for Mom! Time would tell that it was real. Their first date was the next day, on Sunday afternoon. They met at Yogoluv for frozen yogurt. They were inseparable for the next several months - and the questions kept coming.

October 31, 2012:
Heidi: "Will you dress up with me for Halloween?"  Tim:  "Yes."


Tim and Heidi as Tom and Summer from "500 Days of Summer"

Take another look at the photo above and the way Tim is looking at Heidi. Even back then, after only knowing Heidi for a month, it was obvious that he adored her. 

The weeks, months and years passed as Tim and Heidi faced the challenges of college life as well as their relationship. There were struggles, growing pains, and bumps in the road. But they loved being together and simply enjoyed each other's company. Although they loved one another deeply, they never said, "I love you." That was reserved for the time when a lifelong commitment would be made.

And that day came. It was not yet time for a formal proposal, but Tim was ready to proclaim his love and give his heart and life to Heidi wholly, and to make a promise of forever.

January 23, 2015:
Tim:  "I love you. I want to spend my life with you. Do you love me, too?"
Heidi:  "Yes, absolutely."
Officially, their love for one another was proclaimed.

February 14, 2015 - Tim and Heidi's first Valentine's Day

April, 2015 - Heidi's 22nd birthday

May, 2015 - Heidi's graduation day from Stephen's College



December, 2015 - Tim's graduation day from Mizzou



2015 - life and careers begin for Heidi and Tim in Chicago, IL

2016 - 2017: The young couple grew . . .
closer together:

and more in love.

 



The boy, Tim, had grown into a wonderful, caring, responsible young man. His maturity, gentleness, compassion and strength of character will take him far in this world. God sees him as a giant. He is going to make a difference and change this world for the better as God leads him and as he pursues his dreams and goals. 

 

The girl, Heidi, had grown into a beautiful, charming, mature young woman. She is little but mighty. She is going to change the lives of countless women of all ages as God leads her and as she pursues her dreams and goals. Her life will serve as a role model and mentor to girls and women who are hurting. 

 

This young couple, both the babies of their families, are not babies anymore. They are stronger together than alone. They are a power couple. They have the power of God working on their behalf, going before them - defending them, protecting them and preparing the road ahead of them and their futures.

 

Time for more questions.  

 

November 25, 2017:

Tim:  "May I have your permission to marry your daughter?"  Me:  "Yes."

That was seriously one of the happiest, sweetest days of my life. Tim took me for coffee at Starbucks on the Saturday morning after Thanksgiving. He opened up his heart to me that day and honored me as Heidi's mom. He told me of his unending love for her, and of how she makes him a better person. He made promises to me to love her, honor her, cherish her, protect her, provide for her, and encourage her. He promised me that he would never, ever hurt her and that he would never, ever leave her. He promised that he would protect her from alcohol and the devastating effects it has had on our families. He promised me that he would be there for Heidi and their future children until his dying breath. And then he asked for my blessing, which I gave wholeheartedly and without reservation. I had prayed for Heidi's future husband from the time she was in the womb - and now I know that I had been praying for this young man, Tim Merkel, every day of his entire life. God orchestrated the steps of Tim and Heidi to miraculously bring them together in Columbia, MO. I trust Tim completely, this young man of God, with my daughter, Heidi. That was a day I'll never forget.

 

December 19, 2017:

Justice Jewelers, Springfield, MO:  "Is this the ring?"  Tim:  "Yes."

Tim and Heidi had been looking at rings for several months, and he knew exactly what she wanted. And, he knew exactly where she wanted him to purchase the ring. We have emotional connection and long-standing history with Justice Jewelers here in Springfield, MO. So Tim, being the sweet man that he is and wanting to give Heidi everything she had wished for, knew that he would buy her ring there. He made a secret trip to Springfield and invited me along to be with him when he made the biggest, most important purchase of his life. Again, I will treasure that day in my heart for the rest of my life.

 

December 22, 2017:

Tim:  "Heidi Denise Womelsdorf, will you marry me?"

Tim - Man Of Valor

  Heidi:  "Yes, absolutely!"

Heidi - Woman Of Class

BHLDN, Chicago:  "Is this the dress?"  Heidi:  "Yes!"

The day I had dreamed about forever - the day I would go shopping with my daughter for her wedding dress. What a joy that we were all able to be with Heidi on that special day:  Jason, her brother who has always gone shopping with us, Heidi's 2 sisters-in-law, me, and the 2 youngest babies (they promised they wouldn't tell anyone about her dress!). Again, this was one of the happiest, sweetest days of my life. My little girl, my princess who once played dress up and danced around the house, now a grown woman choosing the dress of her dreams as she marries the man of her dreams. My heart was full. I only get to be "Mother of the Bride" one time, and I am enjoying every minute of it! This was the memory of a lifetime.

 

The Lalumondiere, St. Louis:  "Is this the venue?"  Tim and Heidi:  "Yes!"

Heidi wanted an outdoor wedding full of flowers, trees, greenery, water - a beautiful, peaceful atmosphere where she and Tim could enjoy committing their lives to one another and celebrate together with their family and closest friends. They found the perfect place! And once again, what an honor it was to be there with them. The joy on their faces was priceless.

 

Over the next several months, there will be many more things to say "Yes" to: the groom and groomsmen attire, the save-the-dates and invitations, the ceremony, the flowers, the caterer/food, the photographer, the DJ/music, the honeymoon...and the list goes on. But on their path to the wedding - a one-day event - what Tim and Heidi are really preparing for is a life together. Planning a wedding can be stressful - the way they are learning to lean on one another now and work together in making decisions is actually helping prepare them on how to handle all the stressors that life will hold. Tim and Heidi need all the love, support and encouragement they can get from their family and friends - both now and in the future. 

 

And what Tim and Heidi - and all of us - really need, is God's help...every day, for all our lives. 

I believe that you can love someone deeply - but you cannot love them fully - until you have experienced the love of Jesus in your heart and His saving grace in your life. Life is hard. How can one truly commit to lifelong love to another person without first experiencing the life-changing love of Jesus personally? Not impossible, but very, very difficult. Jesus paid the ultimate price by laying down His life for us - this is the most beautiful love story ever told. All He wants is for us to love Him in return and live our lives for Him. Jesus wants us to choose to serve Him and to say "Yes" to Him. 

 

Tim and Heidi understand this completely. They are trusting God with their lives, and their marriage. They are both doing their best to love Him most so that they can love each other best. They have said "Yes" to The Lord first and "Yes" to each other always. It's a beautiful love story - one that will continue to unfold.

 

Tim, a Man Of Valor, and Heidi, a Woman of Class, are both Children of Hope. They are writing their story for their family - working together to leave a legacy of Godliness, integrity, humility, honesty, responsibility and compassion for their future children. As they are starting their lives as a united couple - trusting God and looking to Him for wisdom, guidance, and direction - nothing will be impossible for them. Just watch and see how God is going to use Tim and Heidi both together and individually to change this world.  

 

And so, dear friends, thank you for allowing me to share Tim and Heidi's love story with you today. This is a very special day for me. Exactly 5 years ago tonight, Heidi and I had our first grownup, mother/daughter, woman-to-woman talk. That was the night that Heidi called me, 5 months after she met Tim, and told me that she loved him. We were on the phone most of the night. I told her that I loved her, and that I trusted her. I also told her that we were on a very long road, and that God would work out His perfect will for them. And He did. Tim has grown into a wonderful, caring, compassionate young man who I love and admire immensely. He has earned my respect, and I trust him completely. Heidi has grown into a beautiful, loyal, loving, caring, talented young woman whose funny and charming personality not only lights up the world around her, but will brighten and complete Tim's world. I am a proud mom and am so thankful that Tim and Heidi have said "Yes" to The Lord and to each other for life. I can't wait for their wedding day!

Tim and Heidi - #SayYes. May she always look at him like this.

Have a wonderful week, dear ones - you are my treasured friends. "Say Yes" to The Lord every chance you get in the coming days - be a bright light in a dark world. Love as deeply as possible, as often as possible, to as many as possible.

 

With all my love and a heart full of gratitude,

Teresa/MamaT/GrandMama-T

May The Lord bless you and protect you.
May The Lord smile on you and be gracious to you.
May The Lord show you His favor and give you His peace.

Say Yes - to life and to love. The makings of beautiful pearls.

 

Children of Hope

Hello once again, my dear friends. In my last 2 posts, I shared my heart with you regarding Men of Valor and Women of Class. Thank you, thank you, thank you for your overwhelming response and support - it is clear that valor and class are timeless standards that are still embraced in 2018.

Tonight, on this icy/snowy Sunday evening, I'd like to share my heart with you regarding children - Children Of Hope. And this message is not about telling children how they should behave and how they should respect parents and adults (that will be another post for another time); the message today is for adults - Men of Valor and Women of Class - and our attitude toward children, whether they are our own children or not. We are living in a day where children are at times seen as messy little nuisances who ruin our lives and rob us of our joy, freedom, and money. How sad! Because kids actually give us much more than they take - they give us HOPE. Hope for the future.

Hope:  A feeling of expectation and desire for certain things to happen. A feeling of trust. Wanting something to happen; to expect, anticipate. An aspiration, desire, ambition, aim, goal, plan.

As Christians, we know that our hope is solid. It is "the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." - Hebrews 11:1. Hope that is like faith...a faith that cannot be moved by circumstances or what the eyes see, because an unseen God is seen in His faithfulness. Hope is not just positive thinking - it's trusting God with your todays and your tomorrows. And children are a perfect picture of hope and trust. When we look into the eyes of children, we see the hope of what their futures hold. And the truth is, we're all children no matter our age - and we're all worthy of love and investment.

Let me show you what the journey of Children of Hope has looked like for the Womelsdorf family - our story of hope. Every family has a story of hope. The faces and stories of individual families across the world look different, but hope looks the same everywhere.

We love to see ourselves in our children - miniature versions of ourselves who grow into adults and carry our hearts and values/hopes and dreams. My mom had high hopes for me as a teenager. She wanted me to go further and do more than she had done (the selfless desire of every parent!). 40 years later, I'm still her child and she is still proud of me. We are both Children of Hope.

Children give us opportunity to engage in a "Divine Do-Over." If you have a rich heritage of faithful, God-fearing parents and grandparents, then you have the privilege of passing that legacy on to your children - a "Do-Over." If your family story is painful and is less than desirable, then you have the opportunity to change the direction of your family and rewrite history - a hope-filled, faith-filled, God-empowering "Do-Over." 

As a young woman, I asked God to change the course of history for my future children and grandchildren - that they would not be bound by the sin tendencies and struggles of generations past. They were my unseen Children Of Hope, and I fully trusted that God would do miracles in their lives and that His grace would be evident in their lives - and for generations to come.

My first child was a son named Danny. The pictures below are of me as a young mom desiring that this baby boy would grow into a Man of God, and my adult son, Danny - a #ManOfValor. My first Child Of Hope. 

My last child was a daughter named Heidi. I desired with all my heart that she would grow into a woman of God - a #WomanOfClass.

The young mom kissing baby Heidi in the Texas bluebonnets on our birthdays...

Became an older mom kissing newly engaged Heidi, my daughter who has grown into a young Woman Of Class - my Child Of Hope.

And in between, I watched 4 young sons grow into 4 men - my Children Of Hope. With God's help, the dream of watching them become Men Of Valor became a reality.

 

More years passed. 2 sons married and started their families.

I now have the joy of watching my sons as young dads looking into the faces of their baby sons - their Children Of Hope and future Men Of Valor.  

 

And I also have the joy of watching my daughter-in-laws as young moms looking into the faces of their young daughters - their Children Of Hope and future Women Of Class.

 

The mama became a grandmama - kissing the faces of the next generation of Men Of Valor and Women Of Class. Children of Hope having Children of Hope.

Children really are incredible! While we as adults recognize our responsibility to nurture, love, protect and instruct them as they grow, children teach us much more than we would sometimes ever care to admit. In many ways, we should all view the world through a child's eyes and become as a little child. "For such is the kingdom of Heaven."

 

Children are . . . pure and innocent.

They view the world with wonder and delight.

They are honest, loving, trusting, loyal, fiercely protective.



They are funny, curious and wildly imaginative.

Their exuberant joy and boundless energy are contagious.

Mostly, they are just plain sweet and adorable.

And while all of these positive qualities are true, children also need constant supervision and are a lot of hard work. Every parent knows this to be true - children can be mean, exhausting, trying, grumpy, messy, disobedient, and obstinate. They break our precious things and take away our privacy. They get sick and don't sleep for days. They throw fits.

Well, you know what . . . that sounds a lot like us adults, too, doesn't it? 

 

So why is it that we dislike children because of these negative qualities? Sometimes we act the exact same way - and we should know better. It really is quite ugly. But God, our Heavenly Father, loves us anyway. We are His children, and He loves us. Whatever our age, whatever our background, He loves us. 

 

When we are unruly, willful, stubborn and disobedient, He loves us.

When we are mean, uncompassionate and unforgiving, He loves us.

When we are harsh and unkind with our words and actions, He loves us.

When we are critical and judgmental of others, He loves us. 

When we are dishonest and selfish, He loves us.

When we pout, dig in our heels and refuse to budge, He loves us.

When we throw fits and demand our own way, He loves us.

When we make a mess of our lives, He loves us.

 

God not only loves us, He hopes in us. We are His Children Of Hope. God's desire is that we love Him, serve Him, obey Him, and follow His leading in our lives. He wants to use us for good in the same way we that that we desire our children to do good in their lives. No matter how messy our past or present may be, God's desire is that we hope in Him so that our future will be bright. In the same way that we desire to leave a legacy of hope for our children, how much more does the God who knows us best and loves us most desire to give us a hope and a future...no matter how messy, thoughtless, or selfish we can be at times.

 

And so, dear ones, thank you for following along today. As I stated in the beginning of this post, my heart is that we will all view children as God views them and have an attitude of appreciation for the many lessons children teach us. They are our future and our hope. This post is not about having babies - again, this is about our attitude regarding kids of all ages. The decision to have or not have children is very personal for each family, and is not to be taken lightly. I certainly don't believe that everyone should fill their homes with as many children as possible - that was clearly not my intent for this post. It just makes me sad when I hear so much negativity regarding kids and families - whatever the reason. I'm sure glad God doesn't feel that way about us!

 

I pray you have a wonderful week full of blessings and joy - you are my treasured friends. Please allow God to use you to invest in children - of all ages. They are our #ChildrenOfHope and are worth our attention and energy. The rewards are far more numerous than the sacrifices, and will be passed on from generation to generation.

 

With all my love and a heart full of gratitude,
Teresa/MamaT/GrandMama-T

May The Lord bless you and protect you.
May The Lord smile on you and be gracious to you.
May The Lord show you His favor and give you His peace.

Pearls of the future - #ChildrenOfHope